Ok
I’ll Admit it
I’m confused Confused about the step that God wants me to take next.
I am getting so much input from outside sources that it’s become like radio static. Every person is saying something different. Typically, I would be so bold as to say, “I listen to advice because I believe it comes from a higher power”. Right now however, I don’t think that’s the case. At this single, solitary moment, I crave the need to tune everyone out and just listen to GOD.
I’ll Admit it
I’m confused Confused about the step that God wants me to take next.
I am getting so much input from outside sources that it’s become like radio static. Every person is saying something different. Typically, I would be so bold as to say, “I listen to advice because I believe it comes from a higher power”. Right now however, I don’t think that’s the case. At this single, solitary moment, I crave the need to tune everyone out and just listen to GOD.
The truth is that I already know what I want out of life.
I know where I want my life to go but my wants have not always been "his" wants.
My wants are not always the right wants to have. I want to make beautiful art through photography, both shooting and modelling.
I want to be a good daughter, friend, neighbor and some day, a wife and a mother. I want to seek stability in things that are real and strong and true, not in things that are fleeting and immediate. I want to stop seeking satisfaction and just be satisfied with each moment. I want to love and be loved boldly, both by my God, myself and others. I want to lie in the sun as the willows touch my skin on a sunny day and listen to the cicadas (YES!). I want to have adventures, new experiences and be flexible to change without getting overly attached to “the way things are”. I want to live my life surrounded by music, fading into every experience, every song.
The trouble is that a lot of Christians will tell you that you can’t truly succeed in any of these areas unless you are %100 saved… but let me tell you..being saved takes time. If you sit around waiting for a perfect relationship with Christ, you are going to miss out on the blessings he has in store for you in the meantime. Nothing is perfect. Don’t ever ever ever toss aside your dreams waiting for a “perfect” relationship with Christ when you can embrace the relationship you have with him right this second.
Truth be told, I have always been a “leap over the edge and
give it a try” kind of a person. This is one of my greatest strengths and one
of my greatest weaknesses. I can imagine it frightens people who don’t like to “leap”
but if “diving in” means getting hurt when I fall, that’s ok with me. Intensity
is one of life’s many adventures and you don’t always know what is right for
you…and what isn’t.. until you try.
True Story
True Story
1 comment:
You write so eloquently and from the heart. I believe your dreams will come in time when you least expect it. All the puzzle pieces will come together and you will finally have your peace in life. I feel your heart and it is huge.
Thank you for sharing your deep feelings, that isn't always easy to do.
You truly are a special girl.
Laura Arthur :)
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